~River~ -- Roberta Flack

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and a warm welcome to you all. We are gathered here to mark the sad loss of Linda Dwyer, who died recently at the age of 68. But more importantly we come together to celebrate her life, all that she was, all that she did and all that she meant to all of you.

Today is a day for goodbye, a day to turn your face to a tomorrow without Linda. But it is also a chance to look back at happy yesterdays with her. So, while there may be some tears, let there alsobe the promise of even more smiles still to come, each and every time you recall the many ways Linda touched, and continues to touch, your life.

My name is Gordon Ogilvie.

I am from the British Humanist Association and I have been asked to lead
a non-religious funeral for Linda because we know that this is what she wanted.. As a humanist I believe in people. Moreover, I believe that it is only people, we human beings alone, who give shape and meaning to the universe. We each should strive to create and share happiness in the here and now, because there is no other world to which we go. For we create the worth of existence by making the most of this, the one and only life we have, by treating those we meet with love, affection, respect and, above all, kindness.

This is the Linda Dwyer that we commemorate today, in a ceremony that focuses on her as a person; the very special person, the unique individual, who made her world what it was and shared it with you. Above all, we hope that you will find in our remembrance a true echo of the woman that you have come here to bid farewell.

I am going to begin with a short sketch of Linda’s life, provided for me by Geoff: she was born in Poplar, on the 21st of February 1947, and stayed in the East End until she grew up and left home.
Her early life was stressful for a number of reasons but this was mitigated by the care and love from her dear grandmother who she loved and her dad, who she adored. Unfortunately he died when she was 19 and she moved away to start a number of interesting jobs.

Early on she blagged her way into a chef’s job in a hotel on the Lyn Peninsular in north-west Wales. Later she went to the fly-fishing hotel,the Arundell Arms in Dartmoor, where the owners Gerald and Ann not only fell under her spell but gave her a great deal of confidence and worldly knowledge. They liked her so much that when she smashed up one of their cars, and also herself, in the absence of any support from elsewhere they took her back to the hotel and looked after her.

There followed a time when Linda ran a number of villas in Greece and then she moved back to London. Here she started working for Divertimenti, the cookery and food lover’s mecca in Marylebone, and ended up managing the store for many years.
On leaving there she set up her own kitchen supply and mail order business in Guildford at which point Geoff fell under her spell. The magic was obviously mutual for they moved in together and lived in Fulham and then, on closing the business, moved to Muswell Hill.
Here they continued to share a happy life, until the last five years when Linda’s
ordeal with cancer started in its many forms. This has been a hard time but, typical of Linda, most people didn’t know how ill she was and would see only her usual, lovely, kind self.

And the support and love she received during this time from her many friends, most of whom are here today, was a great and enduring comfort. Of course, all of us mean many different things to many different people. So there is also the Linda that only you knew. And perhaps, too, today brings you face to face with how you view death and dying and what it means in your life.

We are now going to play some music to allow you a short while to be alone with your own special reminiscences, your own individual thoughts and beliefs.

~Every Time We Say Goodbye~
-- Ella Fitzgerald

And now Geoff is going to come up and share his memories with us.

You will have noticed that Gordon referred to the spell that Linda cast over us all. I have been thinking a lot about the way she cast it, she wasn’t aware she was doing it but you had no choice but to fall under it. All of you here will have your own memories of her…… It was impossible not to love her genuine kindness, humour and generosity to others.

You do realise that there was more to Linda than that; there was a side to her, mostly hidden, it was a strong-minded sense of right and a determination and skill to achieve what she wanted, often with people not quite sure how they had managed to agree with her wishes.

I knew Linda long before we got together, she used to visit my house in Wales and I thought, what a sophisticated and beautiful woman she was, but mostly I remember the house was always full of laughter when she was there.

Then, when my business finished and I had to visit London I made the inspired choice of staying with Linda and promptly fell fully under her spell. To my everlasting good fortune she seemed to like me too.

I wasn’t always easy; earlier on I came up to London on a bank holiday. Linda was deep in the throes of setting up her new business and was stressed and fraught. Clod that I was, I had just thought about what I had wanted, not thinking Linda would enjoy a few days in Wales going on our lovely walks.
You won’t be surprised it was quickly resolved…………… The sunrise was just beginning to show as I crossed the Severn Bridge for the second time that day; the look on my Mum’s face as we walked in for breakfast was pure admiration. She knew Linda was the best thing that ever happened to me.
As our life moved on we enjoyed so much together, I became a cat aficionado and learnt more about bridge than I understood, but could see that for her it was more than bridge but good and interesting friends.
I remember our happy holiday during May in Devon and Cornwall. We loved Rose Cottage in Helford, where on arrival we would go to the village store and buy milk, eggs and good home-made cake……….which was promptly fed to all the birds in the garden, especially the baby robins.

We traveled to many different European cities for our winter breaks but I think Linda was always happiest creating our beautiful garden. We would often sit in the garden in the evening, glass in hand……..and then she’d be gone,…….up to her eyes deadheading a rose bush, often in one of her nice silk blouses.

The last years showed how considerate she was as she did her best to comfort and protect me through our ordeal. This kindness has been has been taken up by others, all her true and lovely friends.
I have been coddled and cosseted.
Bridget, Becca and Susan have been magnificent. Also Rosy and Gabi from the palliative team and Brenda and Tonia from the care support team, also our kind GP Dr Dina. I really couldn’t have managed without all of them. Also the allotment fairies, without asking they came along and fully planted out my plot, though Colin, Tommy and Peter might not fit your picture of fairies.

Lastly,
absent friends, we have heard so much and often from many dear friends abroad
and those who weren’t able to make it here. I want to include them as much as much as I can and have asked Philip to take pictures so that they can see all the lovely flowers and company.

My true and deepest thanks to all of them……. and you for coming.

I know it wasn’t hard …..as we had all fallen under my darling Linda’s spell.

Thank you.

Today we shall not be closing the curtains and the casket will remain where it is in plain sight,to give you the opportunity, if you so wish, to pay your respects as you leave and say goodbye in the way that holds most meaning for you.

And now, Susan, Linda's oldest friend, will read a poem which reflects the character of Linda and her kind nature.

Living each day
Now I am gone, now I am lost to you
Find me again just as you use to do:

In the house –
when you’ve gone from room to room you’ll find
The bits and pieces that I’ve left behind.
In the street –
of course…I’ve stopped to window-shop;
You carry on, my love, I’ll catch you up.

At night, as darkness slowly fills the sky:
I’m late,
don’t fret; I’ll be there by and by.

At morning –
when the sky is still blue-black,
I had to go out early: I’ll be back.

In sunshine – as you peer into the glare –
A shape that seems to be both light and air.

In rain – as you look out and people pass –
One leaves a reflection printed on the glass.

In the garden –
when you doze away the hours
I pass with a smile
on my face, and my arms full of flowers.


But at this point we invite you to join in a shared moment of farewell for Linda. Would those of you, who are able, please stand.